change

this post may be a bit jumbled but here it goes... I have been feeling for a while now that it was time for a change, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  Many things have led to these feelings: Even though she is my younger sister, I really look up to Lindsay and enjoy reading her blog here.  She is able to express herself beautifully. Two Sundays ago, a Hymn we sang really touched me and got me thinking (a project I'll be working on later).  Then today I read this blog:click here

I was reading the blog for someone else in mind, but it ended up giving me so many thoughts and inspirations.  It was EXACTLY how I have been feeling lately. I want my blog to help and inspire others, but I guess I've been afraid to change what I write about, or HOW I write because of these many reasons:

I'm far from being an eloquent speaker and writer

Sometimes I feel my life is boring and people aren't interested in what I have to share

I don't have a lot of time, with owning a business and being a mother of 2 little boys

Then I read these words from her blog:

"I wanted (and still do) this to be a blog/ a place of inspiration, uplift, joy...but also truth. Because life is hard. 

A lot of us have been through some seriously icky stuff. 

And so I wanted this also to be "real". 

It's easy to take beautiful family photos and pretend to have it all together-but  who does that help?

Use your voice. No apologies. 

We are all different and have been through different things, believe different things.... but whoever you are there is SOMEONE you can touch with your story.

Don't hold onto it."

I related to her in so many ways. She described herself as being a people pleaser, and insecure at times. But I love what she said about no more apologies... why do we need to apologize for who we are?

I've heard my whole life from people, "you are perfect"

Well guess what? I'm not! No one is. I think I've just taken a lot of "beautiful family photos" my whole life (like many of you).

Don't get me wrong... I feel very blessed, but feeling blessed and being perfect are 2 totally different things.

I am blessed in many ways:

I was raised by amazing parents

I have a husband who loves me and our boys

My hubby has a great job that can support our family

I have 2 healthy, happy boys (one of which takes amazing naps, like 3-4 hours a day and he's 3!)

I am able to take my kids to work with me

I haven't had to go through "serious icky stuff"

I have the Gospel, which has given me great strength and peace throughout my life

But I'm not perfect:

I hate my dog (and I'm an animal lover)

I nag my husband

I've spanked my 3 year old (something I never thought I would do)

I'm not an amazing cook

I think I'm a bit of a control freak

I've judged others

and many more.

I hope in sharing this post, I will have started a change in the way I want to express myself. I want people to know they can relate to me. I really want to inspire and help others.  my story isn't exciting, it's not full of sadness (like many people experience in life), but it's going to be real...

My "beautiful family photo" however, I was feeling very stressed and rushed on the way to the shoot, probably talked rudely to my hubby in my frustrations of running late... imperfect. real.